Time is a really funny thing. Four years ago, I was single and living at home while finishing up my last few college courses. I never experienced the “real” college life, so I’ve never lived on my own before. I took most of my classes online, so most of the time I barely left my room (unless it was to go out for $1 beers). Needless to say, I was used to not really having any other responsibilities other than making sure my papers were emailed to my professor on time.
That all changed 3 years ago when my high school sweetheart and I rekindled our love. We started dating again in February, got engaged in April, and moved in together in August. Things were moving so quickly, but we were both very happy so it didn’t matter! The first few weeks of living together were amazing; I was living with my best friend! It was like being younger again and being able to have a sleepover EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! I was able to come and go as I pleased, bought whatever groceries I wanted, and bonus: I didn’t have to wear pants!
However, one day I woke up – literally and figuratively. I started to notice my lovely fiancé leaving his dishes all over the place. His piles of laundry seemed like they were going to overpower the apartment. When he would come home from work, he would strip down to nothing and leave a trail of clothing bypassing the amazing laundry basket we bought from Target. This is when I came to the realization: guys are pretty fucking sloppy.
Here he is, all free-spirited and carefree, letting everything hang out (literally). And I was trying to be as discreet as I possibly could be. I would make sure to never leave my tampons in plain sight, and I ALWAYS closed the bathroom door.
I wasn’t quite sure of what was going on because when you watch a sappy Rom-Com movie, they make living with a guy seem so clean and neat. The couch is always made up and the sex is glamorous. Let’s not forget that they also leave out the man sharing his sweet man gas with his girl first thing in the morning.
About a year into living together and enjoying our engagement, I started to notice that my fiancé was never really home. He was always working late, and worked every single weekend. At first I kind of liked the peace and quiet. The apartment was kept a lot cleaner because he was never home! Then I started to feel a little, neglected. Was he purposely working late to avoid hearing me complain about how he left his dirty dishes right next to the sink instead of just leaving them in the sink? SHIT. I was becoming THAT nagging, annoying wife. So I did what any normal person would do, I adopted a puppy! I also had a lot of my time taken up with planning our wedding.
Everything seemed to be moving so quickly, but again we were very happy (despite the mess). About 8 months before our wedding is when things really started to speed up. We were booking last-minute vendors, finalizing dates, and just making sure everything was organized and ready to go. My fiance was now NEVER home, which I hated, and whenever he was home, he was just lying in bed with his face in his phone watching Netflix. This is not the “Netflix and chill” scenario I had in mind.
We got married on October 23rd and everything was perfect! The weather, the venue, my man. Halfway through the night (and halfway through my 8th bottle of champagne), I realized something. This wedding would not have happened if it wasn’t for my new husband. The reason why he was working so late was so he could pay for everything and still make sure that our bills were paid on time. I was so wrapped up in everything being perfect at home that I didn’t even realize how hard he was working to make sure my wedding day was more than perfect.
So now, when I come home from work and my husband isn’t home, I’ll look around our apartment and even when it’s covered with his shit, I know that we wouldn’t have any of this if it wasn’t for him working as hard as he does. So ladies, next time you feel the need to yell at your man as soon as he walks in the door from work for leaving his dirty socks on the floor, don’t. Save it for when he decides to go out with his friends without you.