It’s the tale as old as time, and it always starts the same way. You meet a little cutie of the opposite sex, (or the same sex…however you roll) and you start spending a lot of time together. You both seemingly really like each other, you’re texting all day, and laughing at each others jokes. And just as you’re about to reveal your true feelings,one of you drops the “let’s just be friends” bomb. DAMMIT!
This my friends, is the term known as being in the friend zone. We’ve all been in the friend zone at one point in our lives. Just like we’ve all sat around on a Saturday binge watching shows on Netflix and eating pizza. If you do not know what the friend zone is, then you my friend are probably stuck in one right now and are just delusional.
Sure another friendship could be great, but when you start to develop feelings for someone, being in that situation effing sucks. So how does one get out of of this disastrous trench? Well for starters you need to admit that you’re actually in the friend zone. Admitting is the first step! Obviously you are doing something that’s not working and you need to take a step back and figure out what that may be. I’ve put so many guys in the friend zone without even realizing it. They were either way too nice, (yes, that’s a thing!) or they were way too clingy. There is only so many times one can sit in a park, sipping on Rose, while listening to poetry. And for me that would be ZERO times. If you want to maneuver your way out of the friend zone, pay close attention to these next few tips!
How to Escape:
Obviously every relationship requires negotiation and open communication. So my first step is simple; did you make your declaration of wanting more than a friendship clear? If not, then how the hell is that person supposed to know? Unless you’re dating the Long Island Medium, no one is going to know what is going on inside that head. You need to break the nice guy or nice girl act because too much of one thing is not OK. I’m not saying to turn into this raging dick, but it’s also unnecessary to bring flowers or leave little notes and gifts on someones car every other day… You know who you are!
DO NOT TREAT LIKE SIGNIFICANT OTHER:
Like I said, it does suck to be in this situation. But you cannot let them treat you like a significant other and vice versa. This is when things get complicated and if you’re not careful, could potentially ruin a friendship. I’ve had this happen and let me tell you it is NOT fun. If you really want to capture their attention, then show up to their house naked. Totally JUST KIDDING! Do not do this, or you’ll end up with a No Contact Restraining Order and they’ll also need therapy. Instead, stop the obsessive calling and make them miss you. Yes, it’s as simple as that.
After about a week of wanting to call/text and going completely insane, your person of interest (if they feel the same way) is probably in the same boat as you and WANTS to hear from you. This is when you should call and ask them out on a date. And YES, it’s perfectly OK for girls – no scratch that, WOMEN to ask MEN out on a date. I’ve had enough of this sexist B.S.
This is a great tactic to getting out of the friend zone. Don’t share too much but also don’t sit there quietly because then they’ll like you’re weird. A major foundation to attracting someone is being mysterious. I find it very sexy not knowing too much about a person all up front. It almost allows you to develop some sort of fantasy about them and that will make you seem 100 times more interesting.
Don’t Be Shy:
MAKE A MOVE! Actions speak louder than words my friends! If you feel it’s time to make a move, then DO IT! That is of course if you’re getting the same vibe back in return. It really isn’t difficult to read someone and grab if they’re into you or not. Would you like a sexy, yet very victorious first move? OK – pop a piece of gum into your mouth, then wait for the other person to ask for a piece. That is when you lean in and kiss, (and share your gum if you want). It sounds disgusting, but this move has never steered me wrong and guys LOVE it.
Just Have Fun:
All in all, you just need to enjoy yourself. If nothing happens, then you pull yourself together and move on. It’s probably for the best then and now you know better for next time. If you put too much pressure on yourself, you won’t enjoy each others company. And life is way too short to not have fun. Unfortunately, there is not scientific evidence or magic spell to cast on someone to make you like you. If it doesn’t work out, then OH WELL; you’ve got yourself another friend. Take it as a learning experience and move on. If it DOES work out, then WOO HOO! No more third wheeling for you! Good luck out there my friends!