Dealing With Toxic Relationships 

Toxic relationships come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. They do not necessarily have be with someone you share an intimate relationship with like a significant other. It can be with a friend, family member, or even someone you work with. They can be hard to spot at first, and then difficult to remove yourself from. For a year or so, I found myself in a toxic relationship with an employer, but at the time I didn’t notice. What I noticed was a job promotion, extra pay, and what seemed like a newfound “friendship.” On our first official meeting at the Four Seasons in New York City, she rudely told another couple that they could not sit by us near the fireplace. I instantly felt like an asshole, but since I was JUST promoted I decided to not say anything. There were numerous little signs that I didn’t pick up on until we went away for the weekend for a “business trip.” But now looking back, I realize what a rude, and toxic person she truly was. What was supposed to be a weekend of brainstorming and creating new ways to market the company, turned into a crazy, girls-gone-wild, trip, but minus the good time. Since I am finally free from this burden of a human, I decided to share my experience with you all. 


So this trip happened back in April. This was to be my first ever business trip and my first time to Key West, Florida, so you can imagine my excitement. It wasn’t supposed to be anything crazy. We left VERY early on a Thursday, and came back VERY late on a Sunday. But for only three days, it felt like we were there for a lifetime. Our flight there wasn’t too bad. We did enjoy a few cocktails on the plane, but to be honest, we were celebrating! Things seemed to be going very well for the magazine and we had a lot to be happy about. We got to our resort around noon and since our room wasn’t going to be ready until 4:00 pm, we changed out of our flight clothes, got into our bathing suits, and hung by the pool. While at the pool, we decided to have another cocktail. Well, at the resort you can either order a regular cocktail, (which is what myself and our other business partner ordered), OR you can order a double. Which is pretty self-explanatory and is what our boss ordered, about 8 times. Now, let me remind you, that we had already had a few drinks on our flight. So think about it this way; drinks on the flight, 8 doubles at the pool, empty stomach, AND sitting in the sun. This has disaster written all over it.  

About two hours later, she decides to do some “tricks” in the pool. These “tricks” consisted of her sitting on the sit of the pool, screaming, then falling into the water. Did I mention this was a family resort? Yeah.  

Our waitress finally came over and asked if we were okay. I hated the fact that she asked if “WE” we’re ok. I was fucking fine! I wasn’t the one yelling and flailing into the pool like a nut. I did not take being put into that same category as my boss, but since I was away on a trip, I kept my composure.  

My boss demanded another drink, but as she said this, she slurred her words. The waitress pointed this out, and I thought my boss was going to pull a Carrie and kill everyone at the pool. The waitress was wrong, and apparently a crazy bitch. All hell had broken loose. We were in Florida for three hours at this point. This turned into day number one that management was called down to speak with us.  

Now if you really know me, you know I’m not a shy partier. I love a good time and a good, hard drink. But I’m also NOT 18 anymore so when I do go out, I need to act like a respectable adult.  


Nights two and three were not any better. This woman is a prime example of someone who has zero tolerance for alcohol consumption. From almost getting us kicked out of the Ernest Hemingway Museum, to almost getting arrested, I had finally hit my limit. I could not wait to get home and to get far the FUCK away from this person.  

When someone claims to be your friend, they do not intentionally put you into a situation that could potentially ruin your life. And that is exactly what she did. Our last day in Florida was no better than the others. She drank too much again, had management come back down to speak with us, but only this time they had asked us to kindly grab our shit and go. Of course she had to refuse. So management said, “OK- then we’ll be getting security. And if you refuse that, then we’re calling the police. And going by what happened this weekend, it will not be pretty.”  

Myself and the other woman we were with asked this girl, (I say the word ‘girl’ because no grown woman would act like this.. On a fucking business trip.. Representing HER business) that we need to just get our bags and go. She refuses and ASKS for the police! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? My partner and I look at each other and said oh hell no. So we went into the gym, changed out of our bathing a suits and got ready for our flight home.  

As we walked out of the gym, guess who was waiting for us? A lovely police officer. Yeah.  

The excitement did not end there. My boss decided to call the cop a bitch, more than once, and refused to pay her remaining bar tab. Which was almost $200, and most of that was on her. Our business partner bit the bullet and paid the tab just so our boss wouldn’t get arrested. And I spoke to the cop on the side explaining that this isn’t how she normally acts (which was a lie..) and that I am truly sorry. Again, doing this so she wouldn’t get arrested. THAT’S what a good friend does. They get you out of bad situations even if you’re wrong. They don’t try to drag you down which is what she did. She wanted us all to get arrested. Sorry, but that’s not a phone my husband wants or deserves to get from his wife in another state.  

As soon as we got into the cab, she unleashed her true colors. I have NEVER in my life been talked to or actually screamed at like I was. I literally had to talk to myself in my own mind because visions of my slapping the shit out of her played in my mind. Not only should you not speak to your employees like this, but you shouldn’t talk to your friends like this either.  

The weekend was an absolute shit show. But it was also a huge eye opener. There have been numerous signs that I missed along the way clearly stating that she was a toxic, ticking time bomb of a person. Anyone who is willing to get you into that much trouble, where police are involved, is just not a person you need in your life.   

Once I finally was able to cut ties with her, I instantly felt 100 times better! Anyone can get out of a toxic relationship, so just need to find your balls and do so. Life is way too short to not be happy!

 

Girl, bye!  

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