So I had this friend. The key word being HAD that hooked up with my ex-boyfriend and then lied to me. What a shitty thing to do right?! The sad part is, girls apparently do this to their “friends” a lot. Is it worth it? Has this happened to you? Are you the friend that hooked up with your besties ex? If so, continue reading as I’m going to share my experience with you:
Being a woman, you know that there are many unspoken rules. For instance, you shouldn’t put another woman down. Instead, we should be supportive of one another (#womensupportingwomen). The best free therapy I’ve ever received was being drunk in a ladies bathroom at the bar and talking with OTHER drunk girls about our exes, old backstabbing friends, and our shitty jobs. Life would be much better if everyone was a drunk girl in the bathroom.
Another unspoken rule would be to NEVER date your friends ex. Ladies, this is a big one. And I can tell you first hand how shitty that is.
THE EX FILES:
You know the old saying, “there are plenty of fish in the sea”? Well it makes sense.
It all started about 4 years ago. I had rekindled a friendship with someone whom I wasn’t to fond of in high school (and now I know why). We actually became pretty close. We would go to parties together, text regularly, and seemed to have a lot in common. We had a lot of fun together and actually started to feel bad for being such a bitch to her when we were younger.
Back in August of 2013 I received a text from her after not hearing from her for quite awhile. We quickly caught up via text, when she decided to slip in the “sorry I’ve been distant! I’m sort of seeing someone!” I responded with a, “That’s awesome! Is he from around here?” Her answer was pretty simple: “He is awesome! So funny and cute! And no he’s not from around here… You don’t know him.”
Do you guys want to hear the best part! I did know him. I dated this guy for 5 years.
Anyway. I told her I was happy for her and that I would like to meet this Casanova. Thinking back now, I think that would have been hilarious if I walked into a bar and saw the two of them sitting there together causally having a drink.
Fast forward to my birthday month, January. It was my 25th birthday and a friend of mine had just started to DJ at Park East, (please don’t judge me. I know that place is filled with skanks and meatheads). I invited a bunch of people, my ex and my lovely friend included. For some reason, I was actually excited that my ex, (did I mention this ex I’m referring to is now my husband? No? Well, it makes this 100000 times more interest) said that he would go. We were still pretty good friends and up until a few months prior to my birthday, he had been living in another state. At that point I think it had been about 3 years since we’ve seen one another. In typical Austin fashion, he sent me on a wild goose hunt that night in the bar to look for him. Then he texts and says “something came up. I can’t make it. Sorry.” About ten minutes later, I get the SAME EXACT TEXT from my friend. At the time, I didn’t even think twice about it.
Fast forward now to February. My ex and I decided to go out on a date. We met at a dive bar in Hazlet. So romantic! One thing quickly led to another and BOOM, we were in a relationship again.
One night we were talking about what is too “fit” on a girl. I said its the manly face features. You know what I’m talking about. When the face starts to look all jacked up. He said he doesn’t like abs and that he hooked up with someone with abs recently and it was gross. I’m not an idiot. About two weeks later…. I put two and two together. I called him out first and he openly admitted. In his defense he had no idea she and I were even friends.
Her, on the other hand; She was now majorly on my shit list. I sent her a text asking if the last guy she was with was in fact my ex. And reluctantly she admitted it.
I think the worst part of all this was the fact that she lied to me numerous times about it. To be honest, at the time they were “together” I didn’t think I still had feelings for him, so I probably wouldn’t have cared. But if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s a liar. If you’re going to be a terrible friend, don’t make it worse and lie about it. She instantly said sorry and said she knew she was a bad friend, blah, blah, blah.
Long story short, we are no longer friends. I’m happily married to my ex and she’s going into her second marriage I think? Good luck, sir.
Do not be that girl who jeopardizes a friendship for a guy. It’s not worth it. It makes you look sad and desperate and nobody wants that.