Marriage: Surviving the First Year

October 23rd, 2016 | Jessica Baeza 

I’m writing this as my husband is asleep in our bedroom. I know he’s asleep because I can hear his snores that resemble the garbage truck that wakes up the dog at 4:30 in the morning causing him to bark like a lunatic. Which in turn, we both start yelling at him to stop. What a way to start your day right? This my friends, is marriage.

On October 23rd, 2015, we became husband and wife. Everything about that day was perfect. My hair was “on point,” makeup “on fleek,” my dress was gorgeous…oh and my husband looked pretty dashing as well. For months, I had worried about the weather being crappy, (we were having an outdoor ceremony)  but honestly on that day, the weather was absolutely perfect. I do not think we will ever see a day like that again. When I tell you my wedding was something out of a movie, I’m not lying.

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From the dancing, to the food, to having all of our closest friends and family together under one roof, the day was a complete fairy tale. We ended the night in our huge VIP suite hotel room with a bottle of champagne that was left for us with chocolate covered strawberries. I felt nothing but complete and utter bliss as I fell asleep in my new husbands arms.

And then…we woke up. We woke up so tired and hungover that every inch of my body hurt. The fancy hotel room looked like something out of the movie, “The Hangover,” and spun around like it had magically turned itself into a tilt-a-whirl. There was food all over the place, empty champagne bottles and beer cans on the counters, an empty pizza box, (I don’t remember even eating pizza…). It was a pretty safe bet that our fairy tale movie wedding, was over. Austin was so hungover that I asked him one simple question to which his response was, “Please stop talking.” Oh marriage!

The next week was filled with family visiting from out of state to celebrate our new marriage and tons of dinner parties. Don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with family, but aren’t we supposed to be enjoying our new marriage and not getting out of bed at all?

The answer to that is no, apparently. Everyone tells you that things are bound to change once you’re married, but the changes that every couple will face are different. There’s the good changes and the bad ones as well. The key to not killing each other and getting through these changes is to always remember that YOU TWO are a team now. My husband and I split our bills. I have mine that I pay each month, and he has his. We do not share a bank account and when people hear this, they usually give us some slack about it. To be honest, we tried to joint account thing and it just didn’t work for us. It ended up in too many fights about who was spending whose money and it just wasn’t worth it. That’s when we realized, no one else’s opinion matters at this point, because if something works for you both, then screw it.

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Married life is also full of surprises. For example, did you know that once you get married the bathroom door doesn’t close anymore when your husband is in there using it? The dishes will always somehow appear next to the sink and not actually in it when they’re dirty. It’s very odd and I can’t tell you why this happens, it just does. This is marriage.

Marriage is not all negative though as some people may say. We’ve heard the “oh your life is over now that you’re married.” But I can promise you, it’s not. We still have friends that we see on occasion (but always keep in touch with), but we’re also adults that pay bills so partying on the weekends just isn’t a priority to us anymore. The good thing about being legally bound to someone for the rest of your life, is that they are now obligated to “listen” to you bitch and moan about your day and the people in it that annoyed you. Marriage is also waking up at 2 am in the middle of a rain storm and having your husband turn to you with this loving look in eyes, and say, “It feels really incomplete without the dog in here.” And here I am thinking we are about to have this sexy, movie type moment.  Again people, this is marriage! I will tell you this though; my husband is my best friend and I think that makes living together and sharing everything 100 times easier. We can laugh at stupid things like farting, and things we see on Facebook, and peeing with the bathroom door open. But we’re also there for each other when things get rough. I’ve known my husband for 12 years now (damn) so we’ve been through a lot together. And as much as he may annoy me at times, I couldn’t see myself with anyone else.

So to my husband of one year, this article is for you! Thank you for being there to listen to my nightly rants about the most random shit, eating the food I make and not always complaining about it (or dying from it), and for being my best friend. Happy Anniversary!

 

 

 

About the writer: Jessica is a Jersey native who spends most of her time spoiling her pup. Her work can be seen on Best of NJ.com & The Odyssey.com. She is also the founder of The Muddled Millennial!

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