Let’s Compare Shall We?

October 26th, 2016 | Mandi Mitchell

We all know that mothers have it rough. Whether they have a full-time job or they’re staying at home moms, being a mom is tough. There isn’t one of us that has it easy unless you’re rich of course, then you most likely have nannies and chefs and whatever the hell you want. Recently, it was implied that I have it easy being a stay at home mom. That I’m lucky I don’t have to work and then come home to parent and clean etc. That I have all the time in the world to do what I want.

Well, rather than snap back and let this person know, ‘hey, just because you leave the house to work doesn’t mean parenting, housekeeping, cooking, is more difficult for you.’ I could have gone off and nastily said that staying home isn’t a luxury, that I have had to sacrifice many things everyone else has in order to take such a pay cut and raise my kids at home. That I don’t have cable television because I can’t afford it, that I don’t get to take 2 vacations a year, I don’t get to go out to dinner to eat. That doesn’t matter though does it?’ I could have been a bitch and said, ‘They’re lucky to be able to leave their house to gain some sanity for a couple hours, to have some adult interaction, to be able to dress nicely and not be shit on by their 5-month-old, to get praised for ‘work’ and promoted… Yeah, I don’t get that “luxury!”

Rather than be an ass, let me shed some light on what it’s like to stay at home with kids in a more ‘comical’ way for you.

 Let’s say the Stay at Home Parent (SAHP) is the boss or president of the company if you will, the working parent, who so joyously gets to leave, we’ll label as VP and the children will be the employees. Got the image in your head? Good. Moving on.

 Now imagine this, you wake up to get ready for ‘work’. You don’t have time to shower, do your hair, or put on some nice clothes that make you feel good about yourself, but the good news is, you don’t have to get in your car and drive anywhere. Score!

Now, remember who your employees are. (No need to go to your desk or drop your bag and set up for the day, everything you need is right there). It’s 7 a.m. and you’re on the clock.  First things first, one of your employees yell, “I’m hungry, can you get me something?” Mere seconds later employee #2 shouts out, “I can’t find my pants! Where are my pants?! Can you dress me?! I’m so tired” as he runs to you in his underwear. Once you get employee #1 and #2 under control some cry baby asshole, employee #3 decides to shit in his underwear and guess what, he’s crying for you to wipe his ass. Once you get that all sorted out, it’s time to carpool. You need to load up the employees and get them to school on time. Make sure you grab all of their belongings and whatever they’re responsible for (whatever they’re responsible for is now what you’re responsible for). Now you need to get employee #3 back home to have his daily dose of morning banana because if not, all hell will break loose. Do the laundry, make lunch, prepare for dinner, clean the dishes, sweep the floor, and “shit!” It’s time to leave again. Your two senior employees are done with their day and your ass needs to go pick them up.

 The day carries on like this with no end in sight and then your VP shows up to save the day, or so you’re hoping. They stroll on in the door, hang up their things and grope you. Yes, now you’re being sexually harassed by your damn right-hand man. Downside? This job doesn’t allow you to complain to anyone, just deal with it.

 Imagine waking up to go to ‘work’ and having to deal with employees who defecate in the drawers, run around throwing paperweights at you, being worried that one might actually get a hold of a pair of scissors, cry, and whine about everything, start throwing fists every 10 minutes because one says the other is a poop head, they can’t bring in their own lunch so they steal yours, someone jerk clogs the community toilet and it’s your job to fix it, and if you’re lucky, you’ll escape getting puked on by 5 p.m.

 This job is amazing, though. You never get to quit, you can’t call out sick, oh! you also won’t get a paycheck and appreciation is lacking.

 Let me know how accomplished you feel at the end of the day when you really have no idea what you did. When you can’t pinpoint completed tasks on your daily schedule. When all of those tasks, errands, and chores seem to mean nothing. Let me know how good you’ll feel about yourself when you do all of this day in and day out and not one person says thank you. Let me know how easy this ‘eyes open to eyes closed’ job is when you realize you don’t get any compensation. You tell me how luxurious this ‘non-job’ is when you can’t go out to eat, can’t watch HBO and STARZ, a dream to go on vacation but need to wait because you just don’t have an income. Please let me know how relaxed you feel when you don’t get two minutes to yourself to urinate.

I’m not knocking you working mothers, so please don’t get it twisted. All I’m asking is that you think before you open your mouth. Yes, I’m grateful that I can stay home and watch my kids. That I didn’t have to put them in daycare, that I didn’t have to miss their first words, first steps etc. But you should be grateful that dirty laundry, snot wiping, shit cleaning, cooking, cartoons, and crying aren’t your entire day. Be happy that you get some sanity, some adult interaction, that you get to wear normal clothes and piss in peace. We all face daily stress and frustrations and to think SAHP’s have it easy is a completely asinine. We aren’t the equivalent to Peggy Bundy. We don’t sit on our couches with a cigarette in one hand and bonbons in the other waiting for our dear husbands to come home so we can get a handout and go shopping. We don’t knock your hard work, don’t knock ours.


About The Writer: Mandi is a millennial mom of three handsome boys, who keep her on her toes! Parenting is a new adventure every day, and she is comically sharing these experiences with us. You can also check out more of Mandi’s work here: http://www.mandiilee.com

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